INFANTILE HUMOR WARNING: The following section of photos and text are packed to overflowing with childish and pathetic attempts at humor. After reading this, you may want to take a bath to clean the residue of this material away. Don't forget to read this week's Creepsville and Agents of Peril, too.
Our Slides Program Tonight: My Trip to Upper Wisconsin Circa Summer 2005 -- Part 1
I was digging through the Art Vault looking for nude drawings of Dr. Emil Franchel to blackmail him with when I stumbled across a number of photos that I took at a party I attended in the northern most regions of Wisconsin back in 2005. Back then, Wisconsin residents refused to sell or use color film. Beats me why! It does give this event a vague film noir feel. The party lasted almost 2 days, but we had so much fun and only a slight bit of brain damage. Okay, a lot of brain damage...
We just arrived at our cabin and conversation quickly twisted into a Q&A regarding who stole our friend June's bra the last time we had been there.
My buddy, Stu, suggested we just leave this alone.
Here I am trying to bring this exercise to a halt, so we can focus on the fun (mostly alcoholic).
June was still annoyed, convinced that I stole it.
What a glorious day!
The laughs really started when Eric got there and recreated his performance as Uncle Laughs, seen here inserting a steak knife into Belcho, the rude doll's, chest.
Eric also came in this snappy outfit of the carrot man from Lost In Space.
You just know a party is getting to be great when someone gets tied up early on. Especially if you have chickens.
The guy in the chair was a friend of Stu's. Beats me what he thought he was doing, but he had been smoking dope only minutes before. To say the least, just say no, kiddies.
The guy on the ground got a little annoyed when someone dared him to sing the theme song to Gilligan's Island. He claimed he had never heard it before. I hollared out what a giant sack of doo doo he was.
Fortunately, Mable showed up in her jungle girl outfit. I really think that outfit is keano.
We all joked that maybe she had June's missing unmentionables.
Eric was intrigued.
Drunkenness by the group en masse soon results in a daring dance devoted to Mt. Saint Helens.
Three women show up and start dancing. They asked if this was the Wilson party. We lied and said it was. Boy, did they ever get mad when they found out I wasn't a doctor.
Before that happened, our small group broke off to run back to our cabin to get Jello shots.
"What the hell is this?!"
Stu started to say something, but he was so drunk we couldn't figure out what he was saying. I tried to write it all down.
Later, we found road apples left by a horse in our fridge.
A scream alerted us that Betty was in my bed and had been there totally, completely drunk. I shook her until her head popped off. If Betty wasn't a real person, how did she get to the party... and who was her date?
I won't tell you how we figured it out, but Betty is a real woman. Betty was glad to slam another drink, this time an Undertaker (Vodka and a cadaver thumb).
Here's a shot of Betty later when she found out what she had been drinking.
Seconds later, we discovered June in a shower with Sophie. Both of them were wearing clothes. Wish I knew how this came about, because I've been asking June to repeat it for years. She thinks I'm joking. I'm not.
Minutes later, we tried to get a truth or dare game going, but both June and Betty wouldn't do it!
Eric dances with himself.
Back to the party as I try to grab June's buns.
"I love it when you grab my..."
I put on my best kissy face and said, "Come over and sit on my lap, and I'll pay for a tattoo of Adam West across your back."
"Batman?!!" She asked. I answered, "No, Adam West."
Suddenly: Mmmm-pop!!! "When I hear a sound like that coming from a man's pants, I know he's excited or a balloon he's hiding has popped."
"Sorry, I filled them."
Later, we check the keg to make sure there's still beer in it.
One sure sign of success for any parties we held at the campground was that Irv, the man in the flowery design diaper had showed up... and this party was no exception.
Betty finds Irving to be very hot, ignoring the odor of his diaper, which had never been washed. MOre often than we wanted to hear it, she would refer to Irving and say, "Oh, I love him so!"
"Why can't you get a diaper like him?"
TO BE CONTINUED & CONCLUDED NEXT WEEK!
Oh, and this week's Creepsville and Agents of Peril...
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