The Laughing Reindeer is the current home to show-and-tell the latest creative visions of Frank Kurtz. Here you will find works in progress, finished pieces, flights of fancy and more. Run for cover! Monsters! Nightmares! Comics! Oven mitts! (Okay, maybe not oven mitts. Then, again, hmmmm...)
After all this time, you probably thought I had quit this blog stuff...
Actually, the Laughing Reindeer will be riding off into the sunset but not too soon. Something else will be taking its place. Don't worry, when that times comes (and probably weeks before it), I will give you all the details.
One thing I can say is that the Agents of Peril strip will continue. I've gotta show all those installments I continued working on after the old computer crashed ages ago. Also, a few things I had been giving hints on will be revealed.
That's all for now. In the meantime, be good to each other.
Most of you don’t really know me. You’ve never met me. You probably have no idea what I look like or where I live, but you owe me…
You all owe me big time. Why?
For all of you, I dared to look a demon in the face and spit in its eye. Nay, nay, worse than that… I actually watched the Paul Lynde Halloween Special, shown on the ABC TV network on October 29, 1976. More recently, this program was actually released on DVD.
Now, I’m going to give you a small taste… and a very small taste is all you dare try, because this thing is too terrible to believe.
Okay, I’m no dope. These days Paul Lynde as an entertainer is more a punch line himself than a teller of jokes. This holiday special takes all the worst aspects of the man, crams it into an hour long special, tosses in a few bizarre guest stars, and ends up with a cocktail that is all bad 70’s. In fact, it is so much a part of its era that when you see the title of the program with narration, you may find yourself thinking this is all some ingenious SCTV bit.
I should also note that there is a strong connection to TV kid vid creators Sid and Marty Krofft. Though they are only mentioned in the end credits regarding Witchiepoo as being their creation, almost every guest is involved with a Krofft production of that era.
But how bad is it? It’s so bad that when watching it you may find yourself closing all the curtains, putting towels under the door and whatever else is necessary to avoid letting friends and neighbors know that you’re actually watching it.
So, what’s so bad? Let’s go…
The program opens with a short series of bad jokes wherein Paul dresses up for Christmas, Easter and Valentines Day, pretending to ignore the fact that it is Halloween. His housekeeper, Margaret (played by Margaret Hamilton, the Wicked Witch of the West) chides Paul, until he admits that it is Halloween. Cut to Paul on stage, telling bad jokes and dancing and singing. The dancers (including Donnie and Marie Osmond) finish the number by putting Paul in a garbage can, which explodes.
After the commercial break, we see Paul and Margaret driving to her home out in the country, which happens to be a creepy castle. They ring the doorbell and Witchiepoo (Billie Hayes) from H.R. Pufnstuf answers the door. She’s actually Margaret’s sister. Margaret then assumes her real self, the Wicked Witch of the West. Loads of bad jokes follow, plus a cameo by Betty White (for no particular reason) during which Paul is granted three wishes.
His first wish is to be a truck driver with a big 18 wheeler. Tim Conway appears in the awful sketch as a couple of different truckers doing jokes with Paul through their CB radios. As it ends up, they’re both supposed to be getting married to a waitress at a seedy café. The waitress is played by Roz Kelly… who was the very short-lived Pinky, Fonzie’s girlfriend from Happy Days. She’s attractive, but can’t act or sing at all… which is proved in a singing and dancing number to finish the bit off.
Back at the mansion, Paul does more shtick with the witches… which results in introducing KISS in their TV debut appearance. They do a couple of songs but remain removed from the show’s star.
Next up, comes a second wish from Paul that will challenge anyone with an upset stomach. Paul wishes he was sheik in the desert a la Rudolph Valentino. He’s trying to woo Florence Henderson. Their scenes of kissing and hugging strain the very fabric of sanity and the ability of my stomach to hang on to whatever I just ate.
After a commercial break, we see a small unfunny bit with Margaret and Billy Barty. Paul returns and decides to let the witch sisters use his third wish for themselves. Touched (in the head) by his kindness, they decide they want their home to be a disco. A disco dance number follows, with Florence Henderson singing a song and Roz pretending she has any talent at all (she still doesn’t).
Paul wants KISS to return, this time having them actually talk to the program’s star. Peter Kriss sings (or more correctly, lip synches) “Beth.” The band does another song, but there are still a few more jokes from Paul, Roz, the witches left to be squeezed out. The show ends with the cast dancing and this TV viewer drooling from the mouth while bleeding from my eyes and ears.
This I have spared you. If you think I’ve been exaggerating, check it out for yourself. I dare you…
The Aztec Mummy is back like you've never seen him before... through the miracle of Lethargic-Vision.
The amazing and often mysterious Greg Hyland and I have teamed up in this spooky month, working together on Greg's weekly online Lethargic Lad comic strip... something we've wanted to do for years. Just in time for Halloween, we dare reveal the TV special you never asked for: Mexican Mad Monster Party.
Meanwhile, after months of real world adventures & challanges (yep, Dad made it okay through the triple bypass operation) I've been working hard on my Agents of Peril strip... which will finally explain what happened in that most recent installment featuring a vaguely weird world Agent Frankenstein found himself in when last time we saw him. That will be popping up soon on these Blog pages, true believers (I really dig writing like Stan Lee).
Meanwhile, the house is looking very Halloweenish. I love this time of year!
The Robot Vs. The Aztec Mummy In the last few years, it seems like a lot of people have begun taking notice of the really inspiring weirdness of the Mexican horror film. This one, though certainly not the best, was loads of fun.
I remember when I first saw it. It was a Saturday afternoon. I was still a high school kid. I saw that goofy title in the TV Guide and thought I would put in on. What I saw blew me away. Here was a film that was actually 3 films in one, packed with extensive flashbacks to the first two movies and a fast finish in this last one. After I saw it, all I wanted to do was create a movie that Some Kind of Monster Vs. Some Kind of Monster, the cheesier the better.
Afterwards I sought out more Mexican horror, learning there was so much more truly great stuff to see, but this is the one that paved the way.
Just a quick final note on this movie. Years later, working for a publishing company, I took part in an interview with Mike Nelson and Kevin Murphy about the MST3K Movie hitting theaters at that time. I asked Mike what the worst film was that they ever had to watch for their show. Mike said it was The Robot Vs. The Aztec Mummy. I meekly asked, "Really?" He said, yes, it was by far the worst. I was stunned.
I still like it!
Godzilla Vs. The Smog Monster There may have been two movies that no self-respecting Godzilla fan of the first series of films was likely to admit they actually liked. The first one was Revenge of Godzilla. Well. that sucked... despite Gabera. No matter how you try to rationalize it, it's awful. Now, relax and accept it. Okay, the other film was Godzilla Vs. The Smog Monster.
I won't speak for others, but there are those among us Godzilla fans who love this film, as they should.
This was a film that I and some buddies tried to catch at a summer matinee showing at the Plano Theatre but it was actually sold out. It had received a huge write up in Famous Monsters. Years later I caught it on TV and thought it was awful... and of that I had no doubts, with its juvenile preaching and that damned annoying little kid.
What happened to change my mind? Well, other than taking loads of drugs and drinking way too much, I flipped it on one day and saw something amazing... I think it may have been exposure to other films with an air of surrealism about them, intended or not. Within a short period, I discovered I liked Godzilla films like Son of Godzilla, Godzilla Vs. Gigan and Godzilla Vs. Megalon... okay, maybe not the last one.
GVSM had loads of oddball elements and astonishing imagery, including a wild theme song ("Save the Earth") sung by a hottie, Hedorah (the Smog Monster) sliming into a night club and leaving behind a muck covered kitten mewing pathetically, Hedorah flying through a construction site, his acid mist turning the workers into skeletons, strange animated portions, a nihilistic hilltop rock and roll party and Godzilla on the verge of talking but still getting his gruff point across, anyway.
So sit back and watch it again. If you're lucky, you might just scare your significant other.
The Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism Could a film with as lurid a title as that possibly be as gruesome as my brain imagined it could be, even showing on television.?
It was my good buddy Eric that turned me on to this one. He had a knack for seeing some truly edgy films first in our group of young monster fans... like, for example, Night of the Living Dead. He saw it before he was 12 at a theater or drive-in, meaning his parents actually took him to see it. As luck would have it, Svengoolie (a.k.a. Jerry G. Bishop) hosted the TV debut of the movie on his Screaming Yellow Theatre late night film fright program. We watched it and were scared shitless. We stayed awake and watched the second film, Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, but even fantasies of gorgeous Allison Hayes' giant, swinging breasts couldn't wipe out the flavor of NOTLD... and we ended up staying up all night. That was the first time I had ever done that.
So, if Eric told me that I should see a particular scary movie, his advice carried a lot of cache. So, when he suggested Dr. Sadism, I watched...which was probably showing on Son of Svengoolie, played by Rich Koz.
Okay, it's not really scary... but it is mesmerising. The film is a period piece packed with lurid imagery telling the story of Count Frederic Regula, a nobleman who had been working on an elixir for immortality until the royal guard caught on, hammered a spiked mask to his face, and had him quartered. Christopher Lee plays the fiend and dubbed in his own voice in English for this production that was shot in German language.
Years later, his surviving henchman captures the descendants of two of his accusers who takes them to his sinister weird-ass castle. Within the film's narrative there are some startling images, like a great scene that has a carriage ride through the forest near Regula's castle, which has corpses hanging from the tree tops and various limbs protruding from around tree limbs, etc. That's one example. I don't want to give too much away, because if you haven't seen it I'd rather not wreck it for you.
For me though, it wasn't just a fun, gruesome story, but it also grabbed me the way something else inspired by horror films did. By that I mean it reminded me of what kind of film you might have if you took one of those sleazy old Eerie Publications comic magazines covers and tried to make a movie out of the bloodbath. These were bottom of the barrel magazines with a unique sleazy charm about them. You didn't mind getting caught reading Creepy or Eerie, but how on earth could you explain a typical issue of Tales of Voodoo or Witches' Tales? Check out a huge load of cover images from these sleaze gems by clicking on the Tremendous Thing Blog link in the right column on this page. Then, let the sleaze wash over you, letting it kick your sense of good taste out... Then, you'll understand The Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism, but that's my opinion.
Those are my top 10...which are subject to change at any time. For example, I was thinking about Dr. Sadism and...
Ah, well, all good things and all that... But, hold, (as Roy Thomas might have written for a Thor comic long after Stan and Jack were gone) you want more? That is for another day... another list for another time. I must rest, let my mind's eye scan over visions of things perhaps better left unsaid...
(Read Part 1 of this article by hitting the Older Post link at the bottom of this page.)
The Ghost of Dragstrip Hollow The writing was on the wall, the 50s style monster movie churned out by AIP was going to cease to exist... and it was AIP itself who sent a message to its audience of drive-in attending teenagers for those paying attention.
It's a silly film that starts with a newspaper reporter doing a story about teen hotrodding, initially very straight but gradually letting its eccentric characters take over the movie, including an elder aunt with a smart ass talking parrot, a big brain custom car building Poindexter-type and his gorgeous long legged girlfriend, and even AIP master monster creator Paul Blaisedell playing himself, wearing the last fragments of the She Creature costume. Toss in some late in the story haunted house hi jinks and you've got a movie that feels like a surf film, before Frankie and Annette, before color and before Corman's Edgar Allan Poe films broke new ground for the exploitation studio resulting in big changes in the kinds of horror movies they made.
It's the end of an era, and you know it is.
The Lemon Grove Kids Meet the Monsters The older I get the more Ray Dennis Steckler's idea of how to make a movie makes more sense. Basically, if there was ever a script, Ray would toss it out and improvise the whole thing. In doing so, he made some truly unique films, maybe not realizing what the end results would be. Though most of the fans of his films enjoy The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed Up Zombies, I find myself drawn more often to The Lemon Grove Kids.
I realize now that if Steckler had been a bit more canny or had realized what he had here, he might have created something loads more people would look back at nostalgically. The film is actually made of three or four different short films, improvised, filled with Steckler friends and family and goofy Bowery Boys inspired wackiness. When I first saw it, I imagined the big potential there and that Steckler could have easily turned it into a syndicated kid program shown on local TV kid programs in 5 minute chunks, like on Chicago's Garfield Goose (which ran a serialized version of Karel Zeman's amazing Journey to the Beginning of Time). It could have been another Funny Company, and actually funny.
Ah, well, missed opportunities. Show it to your kids, and maybe they'll actually watch it.
My Bloody Valentine There's nothing poetic about this slice and dice Canadian gore film. It is just what it is.
It tells the story of a man who went crazy in a mining town when the mine he was in caved in on Valentine's Day, and were ignored due to the big yearly holiday dance. When he finally got out, Harry (that's his name) went on a killing spree, wearing his mining outfit, gas mask and wielding a pick axe to tear out the hearts of those who didn't care.
Years later, he breaks out of the asylum and the Sheriff thinks he's headed home to stop the first Valentine Dance since Harry went crackers. Of course, much carnage follows, with a nice twist.
There's also some soap opera aspects when the Sheriff's son, who went away to California without letting anyone (including his girlfriend) know where he went. A highlight of their tormented discussion is sabotaged by the young man's thick Canadian accent. "I'm so soorrry. I'm soo dammm soorrrey."
Okay, to be fair, with the exception of this lesser acting, the rest of the film's thespians are actually pretty good. Still, we're not talking about aperformance of Hamlet here.
What stands out for me on this film is that the production level is elevated by the authentic locations used to film in, including a real operating mine. Low budget films usually had to work with Friday the 13th style campsites back then. This movie has thousands of dollars worth of sets.
Also, as this stuff goes, the killings are particularly unique and gruesome. What would a person look like left in an operating laundromat dryer. Hmmm, par boiled? I guess that I wasn't alone in liking this flick, because an unnecessary remake was made in 2009 in 3D. No, thanks, I'll stick with the original.
When, like Edgar Allan Poe, my world and sad life crashes down upon me ...wearing someone else's clothing, drunk, squished by madly out of control coach wheels... my last thoughts may be, "Damn, I really liked The Brain Eaters." A sad demise, with even sadder thoughts? Okay, maybe getting left in the gutter is sad, but thinking of The Brain Eaters? Nay, nay, my friends... it's only one of my many guilty pleasures.
When it comes to horror or scifi films, the so-called "Guilty Pleasure" may not exist as it once did. These days, canny video manufacturers slap a "Cult Classic" sticker on any old Jess Franco film, and it's acceptable to like that film. Forget that noise... this list is for films that existed before such marketing techniques became status quo, before anything you liked could be downloaded via a torrent file.
Sadly, dear reader, there was a time when certain films were recognized by everyone as being not just a cut below, but perhaps even the worst of their kind... embarrassments agreed upon by arrogant know-it-all film pundits that no one with any taste or knowledge of film would dare champion. For a few of these I defy the critics and provide my ever so weak reasons for liking them steadfastly, in no particular order.
I ask you, is a film bad if it is also entertaining, regardless of how or why?
"Hello, my name is not Laughing Reindeer (sadly). I'm Frank."
"Hi, Frank."
"...and I love..."
The Brain Eaters Let me tell you one of those annoying name dropping stories. In a galaxy far, far away, I was once editor of a magazine called HERO Illustrated. Every year, we were at the San Diego comic convention, hooking up with comics guys, doing interviews, writing news stories, etc. Part of the festivities was that the comic book publishers (and later, film studios) previewed stuff we at HERO had to cover. One such publisher, Big Entertainment, was debuting a line of comics created by big, non-comic industry, names... one being Leonard Nimoy. They hosted a luncheon, and Nimoy was there to say hi to us.
Afterwards we each had pictures taken of ourselves with Nimoy and spoke quickly about his comic project. He was very nice, and I was a tad bit fanboy, because, hell, here was a guy who I grew up watching on Star Trek (admit it, naysayer, you did too). Then I surprised him... I told him that of all his films, I really liked The Brain Eaters. He moaned. Then, I added, "No, really!" I quickly followed that there was a nicely crafted scene in the film that helmer Bruno VeSota had created that George Romero would have been proud of with the film's hero and his girl in an old shack, with possessed townspeople outside. I think by bringing up VeSota's name, Nimoy clicked and realized I was on the level.
As most of you know, Nimoy has a cameo part in the film's end under a phony white beard. I asked him how he got involved in the project. He said, "Ed Nelson was a friend of mine and he told me about this film he was in and asked me to play that part." We joked a bit about the film's title creatures and their furry slipper looks. I told him I had a copy on video. He was surprised, and then he surprised me. "Could you send me a copy?" Sure, I said. I made a mental note to do so... and forgot to do it.
Nevertheless, despite some bad moments, some of the night scenes are eerily effective and worthy of credit... not to mention being a pleasant memory for Leonard Nimoy.
Creation of the Humanoids Here's a film its creators must have been dying to make, packed with ideas about the nature of life, love, artificial life, the soul and more... so packed that, for the most part, they stand around and talk about it. And then they talk about some more and more and more...
No, this isn't a Jerry Warren film (thank goodness). However, it is a virtually actionless film about the future, where post-atomic war radiation is quickly diminishing mankind's ability to procreate. Meanwhile, man's own creation, the humanoids; android slaves with agreeable personalities; are up to something that may involve blowing out man's light.
The film is acted out on minimal but colorful sets by decent actors (including Dudley Manlove still doing his Eros the alien act from Plan Nine From Outer Space). A lot happens in a short time, mostly off screen. When I watched this film as a kid, I was amazed by its nothingness. Now, I find myself amused by long close-up shots where the character is talking to someone off screen, geetting a response back without cutting away, the sound recording of which has not been mixed correctly to match the ambient sound of the shot. Did they lose some ADR dubbing cuts and those actors would not return to do them again? Perhaps that forced them to attempt to bring out the dialogue that they could barely hear on the master shot sound. Who knows, but I think it adds to its charm.
The Humanoids themselves, are nicely created with quality make-up, showing what can be done with a little money and some skill. Honestly, I think much of the body stiffness of these creatures is the result of an inability to see through their metallic contact lenses.
I also like the film's breaking-the-fourth-wall finale. I leave that to you to see for yourself what I mean.
Dracula Vs. Frankenstein Vs. Dracula Vs. Frankenstein Okay, I'm actually talking about 2 movies here... two ineptly bad movies that defy my critical eye, leaving me awed and entertained.
The first one is director/producer Al Adamson's classic take on the two traditional old monsters, shot in the Venice area under the pier. It features a final, sad performance by Lon Chaney, Jr., channeling Lenny from Of Mice and Men... wielding an axe. Angelo Rossito, J Carrol Naish, Anthony Eisley, Jim Davis and Russ Tamblyn appear as well, providing entertaining if not acting stretches for each of them, though Angelo's rants as a barker of sorts for Naish's house of horror are appropriately crazy. The title creatures are played by Adamson stock actors or friends. In fact, his accountant (who was given the stage name of Zandor Vorkov) hams it up big time as Dracula, one of the film's charms. Oh, and Adamson's wife, Regina, well, you can't deny that cleavage.
When I was a kid reading Famous Monsters of Filmland, Forry reported on this movie, partly because he appeared in it. After Uncle Forry hyped it big time, we all had to see it... and it was bad.
Okay, so it's bad... but why do I like it? I saw it show on local TV many times through the years, and despite my mind telling me to ignore it... it grabbed my heart. It was awful and laughable. It was also melancholy (mostly due to Chaney), and just plain weird. That still doesn't explain why I like it.
How much did I like it? When it came out on video, I bought it. When it came out on laser disc, I bought it. DVD? Yep, I bought it. I had to. I'll keep buying it, too.
Why? Well, despite his moneymaking intentions, I believe Adamson made a movie that was, yes, awful, but also immensely entertaining... something a kid might have made, making it up as he went along. I wish Adamson were still among us rather than #43 of the E! channel's 50 Weirdest Showbiz Deaths. Of all of his films, though not a fan of horror movies himself, Adamson managed to create a naive goofy monster movie, something kids would enjoy. One of those Monster Kids was me.
A few years back, I stumbled upon a video for sale with the title Dracula Vs. Frankenstein, thinking it was a reissue with new box art of Adamson's film. I was wrong. It was a Paul Naschy monster - scifi film which originally had the title of Los Monstruos del Terror, which I had seen years before on a local UHF channel (WSNS, channel 44) wherein Naschy's immortal werewolf character Vladimir Daninsky is part of an evil space alien's plan (along with the Frankenstein monster, a vampire and a mummy) to take over the world. The alien mastermind is played by Michael Rennie, of The Day the Earth Stood Still Klaatu fame. He and a few of his space buddies take on the lives and forms of dead humans and soon sabotage their own plans because of the human emotions that intrude on their insidious thoughts. Heck, they never really explain how their plan works, anyway. The video print was crummy, but I loved this silly mixed up thing. I still do.
I have to admit that for myself, Paul Naschy was an acquired taste. While the subject matter appealed to me, it took awhile for me to come around to liking them. Prior to seeing Frankenstein's Bloody Terror, I thought they were awful. As it ends up, they're certainly cheap and those jarring stock footage shots of Naschy's werewolf culled from a few earlier films with the make up done in obvious different ways eventually became part of my amusement.
Oh, and Rennie's voice is terribly dubbed, which I presumed either he had passed away by the time this film was done and could not dub, his final work marred by an unfortunate vocal substitute. Or maybe he was still alive and chose not to.
Remember the so-called good ol' days when local TV stations would show movies (with commercial breaks) into the late hours instead of reruns of sitcoms and infomercials? I've always been a person who woke up in the night and would turn on the tube and watch a film clunker or gem, get tired and fall back asleep again.
Very often this was when films that would become favorites of mine would be shown.
Here are a few...
When I first saw The Blob, it was on WGN Channel 9 in Chicago. I was familiar with what the movie was, thanks to Famous Monsters of Filmland, but when I finally saw it... well, it was better than I thought it would be with its snappy color, wacky theme song, great low budget FX and Steve McQueen... and The Blob, itself.
Hot Rods to Hell was a regular late night feature on WGN. Dana Andrews gets into a car accident on Christmas Eve and retires to run a motel in a desert town. There, he is forced into tussling with young hot rodding punks fearing that a back injury has weakened him too much. He gets the balls up at the end and just about pounds a kid's head in with a tire iron. Blisteringly bad in a boffo way. Word has it that this flick was originally shot as a TV movie, but the end product was so lurid compared to banal shows like My Three Sons, MGM tossed it out to drive-ins... but, of course, it ended up back on TV.
The Severed Arm was on the nearly forgotten WSNS Channel 44, when it was an English language channel. It's a dreary but effective 70s horror flick, heavy in late night quiet creepiness and low in budget. It's typical 70s trash with no humor (I think) and even less hope of a happy ending. It may have been the first sort of gore movie I ever saw.
Is The Vulture really all that bad? Most of the film is an entertaining little horror flick with the story of a giant vulture killing people, including a boozed up Broderick Crawford. It all has something to do with an atomic experiment and a wacky mad scientist played by Akim Tamiroff. I was a sucker for the film even though the ending was so goofy it had me laughing. Heck, I still am!
Sadly, this film is not on You Tube... but here's the movie poster.
They Came From Beyond Space was a lot like The Vulture with enough to keep you awake until the end ... and an end that was so goofy you wish you hadn't. Hey, hold on there... both films also star Robert Hutton, who starred in a lot of these marginal low budget flicks as a hero, including Invisible Invaders (a rare cowardly, unlikable role) and The Slime People. If I stumbled onto any of these films, I left 'em on.
Anybody out there still awake? Speak up, everyone! What are those late night gems you stayed up watching through bleery, bloodshot eyes? Let me hear from you!
Are there any TV stations out there still showing movies at night? Thank goodness, Svengoolie is still at it in Chicago. It would seem to me that there may be a market to put together a package of low budget junk ready to feed late night fiends like me.
